Thanks to rapid proliferation of PCB design tools the world is now being bombarded with an onslaught of useless connected products. We’ve made a short list of gadgets that you should never buy. The planet will thank you.
- $700 Wifi-enabled juicer called Juicero. Each juice packet costs $7 and the machine takes 2 hours to make your juice. Save your money and an app for that and go out and buy some fruit and squeeze it with your hands. If you really need a machine buy a Vitamix. You can make your own juice, flour and ice cream with it. A steal of a deal. But the venture capitalists in Silicon Valley invested $124 million in the promise that this junk would work.
- A toaster that burns emojis into your toast? Called a Toasteroid, it’s everything you don’t want on your morning toast, the simplest of pleasures. We can hardly open our eyes in the morning and the last thing we want in the simplest of devices is an app for that! The device can even burn the weather onto your toast. Sigh. We still do finger to the wind.
- The Pantelligent Smart Pan tells you when to flip your steak because well, you’ve forgotten how to cook, or did you ever learn? And now, again, there is an app for that. The smarter move would be to buy a food thermometer because while the pan knows its temperature it will never know the temperature inside your food. And who’s eating steak anyway? Aren’t we all vegans already?
- Smartmattress is for people who don’t trust their loved ones. It’s a sensor-based mattress that can tell if there are naughty things going on when you are not home. Factors measured? Intensity, velocity and impact per minute. Yikes. In that detail we’d rather not know.
- Hapifork for when you eat fast or slow or? Who cares? It won’t let you know if you are eating spaghetti, tofu or lettuce. For that you’d have to ask your brain.